My Final Resignation

I began writing this post on June 12th, but couldn't finish it at the time... It had been sitting around as a draft until now.
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The weekend of June 10th, my honey-man and I had a very serious, much needed convo... The matter of discussion: What's our deadline for my moving to California, if and when I haven't yet scored a job?
4 months? 5 months? A year? How long do we wait? At very first, the thought of determining an answer for this question was upsetting alone... My primary resistance to moving to L.A. before securing a job is this: I am terrified to live without health benefits. TERRIFIED -- Not having coverage; it's just not something I do. I could say more on this, but I won't. Leave it at that. I'm terrified.

So anyhow, establishing a deadline... If it takes me longer than 3 months to get a job, something just ain't working, ya know? The L.A. job market ain't exactly booming right now, and the competition is high. Not being in L.A., searching from Vegas, it's proving itself to be rather difficult effort.

Today (June 12th at the time), I went to see my boss, to tell him that unless I score a job sooner than later, my last day will be August 31st. He understood our reasoning, and some rhetorical questions were posed as to how well I'll adjust to life in L.A., but before walking out his office, I said, more for me than him, "With change, good things can come." And then, turning from his office doorway, out into the hallway, I promptly burst into tears.

And once I was back in my office, like clockwork, my honey-man called to check in = my primary reason to move to L.A. ~ ~ And then, to follow-up, my sweet friend, Ryan showed up outside my office door = one of the many reasons that it's so hard to leave Vegas.

Man, change can really exacerbate insecurity -
For weeks now, I've been swimming in it - Insecurity, that is. It's totally kickin' my ass!

"Good things can come from change"... (repeat to self, over and over).