Tuesday, August 22, 2006

My Priority Shift

Labor Day is just around the corner and for the last 12 years, I've always made my way northward to visit and reconnect with family and friends at that time, and for the last 2 years, my honey-man was able to join me up north for Labor Day, but this year, he just won't be able to make it...

Before I met my honey-man, I happily trekked north on my own, all by myself, and did so sometimes 6 or 8 times in a year. Sometimes twice in one month. No exaggeration. Whenever I had a 3-day weekend (I've got 11 paid holidays a year, baby! plus 3 wks of annual leave), I'd take a personal day or 2 or 3 and either make my way north for a 4 or 5-day family visit or plan a trip somewhere - - San Francisco, Washington D.C., Laguna Beach, San Diego, New Orleans, or glorious Cedar Rapids, IA... The point is, if I had a chance to leave Vegas, I did. But more often than not, holidays were almost always reserved for northbound trips to Utah/ Idaho. Labor Day in particular has always been a time set aside for a family trip... And until I met my honey-man and his darling angel boy-O, the 4th of July had also been designated for a family visit up north. Well, I've spent my last two Independence Day vacations in L.A., celebrating an entirely different, more important 'holiday' ~ the angel boy-O's birthday... a priority shift.

For the last 2 years, I've spent most of my 11 paid holidays in L.A. - all of 'em, but the big biggies, Xmas, Thanksgiving, New Years. At the same time, for nearly 2 years, I was enrolled in a graduate program on a full-time basis while working full-time, but whenever a 3-day weekend rolled around, I was off to L.A. to see mah Cali boys... a priority shift.

Well, this Labor Day, even with my father's family, who will all be in Yellowstone, calling my name from afar, and with 4 baby Bear Lakers also beckoning me, I'll be going to L.A. to see my Cali boys... a priority shift. This time it's harder though. I only made it to Utah/ Idaho for Memorial Day this year for barely a 5-day visit, and I haven't yet had a 2nd trip north, and don't know when I will, if at all this year. It wouldn't be a big deal if I knew I'd have the chance to go again soon, but I honestly don't know when I'll get to go again. Thanksgiving? Christmas? New Years? I don't know where I'll be. And even if I could hope/assume that I'll be in L.A. by then, who knows if a new job will allow me any leave time. And if a new job would offer some leave time eventually, I will no longer be just 6 hrs away from those I love and miss so very much = No more evening drives to Salt Lake = No more 3 or 4-day weekends up north = Makes me very sad. Yet, whenever I have the chance to leave work, to leave Vegas, my heart tugs me more in the direction towards L.A. - - a priority shift.

My honey man's former spouse is a fellow Utahn (sp?) by birth and she recently spent a good stretch of time amongst her family in Ootah -- [SEMI-RELATED TANGENT: Before Wendy left L.A. with her beau and the angel boy-O in tow, I had wished I could hitch a ride with them... "Just swing by the Tropicana exit and I'll grab hold of the bumper!" my heart pleaded silently, while I imagined them passing Vegas on their way northbound... END OF TANGENT.] She's going to have to give me some really good pointers as to how she handles the so few and far between visits home, being so far away from her family, because the last 2 years have been rough for me, despite the joy of my honey-man's love and the angel boy-O's sweetness.

My priorities have certainly shifted, yes, but my heart hurts, having not seen my cousin's twin baby girls since March of last year when they came to Vegas, nor in 2 years' time have I gone wake boarding on the Bear Lake with cousins hollaring and laughing as Kyle's tossed over the side of the boat again... and again... And my cousins with their growing babies? Four babies who don't know who I am. Makes me very sad.

3 comments:

san said...

Will it help to let you know that I understand your situation SO WELL?
My family will be a 11-hour flight away soon, but I'll still go and live with my man in LA...
there are always good reasons to do what you have to do ;) and there will be time with family... I am sure!

Elizabeth said...

Yeah, that is hard. I encountered the same problem. You just have to hope they adjust.

Ern said...

It's the hardest part of marriage, I think, that tug back and forth between new family and old family. I'm sorry it's tugging at your heart.