Mah Personal Driving History: An Auto Accident Recap

Until 3 or so weeks ago, every auto accident I was ever responsible for had happened while I was either driving in reverse, or coming out of reverse. [TRANSLATION: By 'responsible for,' I mean to say they were car accidents that were entirely my fault... The headers for those babies are highlighted below in dark red.]

#1 My first car accident: Sometime in the Fall of 1989. I was 14 years of age, driving on a minors permit... My step-mum had given me the chance to drive the family home from church that Sunday in our beige '87 Oldsmobile Delta 88. My father was not with us. While keeping such a very close eye on the rear of the car and where it was going while backing out of our parking spot, I completely failed to also mind the front of the car! The front passengers nose of the Oldsmobile made a respectable dent in the neighboring car's rear drivers door before we realized what I was doing. We left a note on the windshield of the damaged car, and if I recall correctly, I paid the owner (who was Matt Harger's father) $75 to have the door dent knocked out and repainted.

My 2nd accident (this one was ridiculous): Early June, 1993. I was out and about distributing open house invitations, very last minute, for my high school graduation, and I had stopped at the home of who was my father's boss at the time. The house next door to his and the house directly across the street, they both had garage sales going strong, with cars parked all along both sides of the street. As I backed our white '85 Chevy 4x4 Blazer out from his driveway, I stopped the Blazer a mere 2 inches or so from a red, totally-unseen-by-me, tinsy Lemans sedan. As witnesses later told me, from reverse, I shifted the Blazer into drive, and it rocked backward (as it always did when one would move into 'drive' from reverse), directly into the rear drivers door of this tiny red car, and the Blazer practically lifted the thing an inch off the ground, onto its curbside tires before I drove off. And I SWEAR I DID NOT NOTICE A THING!! I was driving a freakin' tall-sitting, very huge 4x4 Chevy Blazer!?! So anyhow, the owner of the car saw it all happen, and frantically, very angrily (I was told), he ran to his car and he drove after me for a few blocks before making his move to dramatically cut me off, just as I was turning into the development where we lived... I thought the guy was a stark raving lunatic!!! As he pulled alongside me during my right-hand turn, he drove right out in front of me, slamming his brakes, coming to a complete stop! I'm still stunned that I did not then slam him right into oblivion. He then jumped out of his car, drivers door left open, his car still running, and he ran back toward me, shouting obscenities and yelling all sorts of things. Seeing that this behavior of his was apparently meant for me, although not knowing how so, I had begun to roll up my window and only left it open a crack, yelling back at him that I didn't know what he was talking about, bursting into tears and begging him to please stop yelling. The man scared the living holy crap outta me, because I honestly didn't know what I had done. Once he realized I was a merely a clueless and terrified teenager, he quit shrieking at me, and he calmly explained himself, and as I reasoned in my mind that his story could very well be true [I WAS DRIVING A BEASTLY 4x4 BLAZER!!! - the same vehicle in which my step-mum had unknowingly taken out a couple mailboxes, driving in reverse!], I told him to follow me back to the point of the accident, and we'd exchange information. By that time, my father's boss, who had had his neighbors come over to his home, asking who I was - - and his wife may have seen the accident happen too, I can't remember for sure. He had already called my parents to let them know I was in trouble. I do remember I was sooo mortified and upset and just bawling, so worried about the repair costs. I had also been convinced my father was going to kill me and that I would not live long enough to see my H.S. graduation that very week... Both my parents told me they were just so happy that no one was hurt! If I recall, it cost a lil' more than $300, out of pocket to repair the fellow's car.

My 3rd accident (not only ridiculous, but totally stupid): Late summer, 1994. The 'Fudmobile' was long gone, and I was home from college for just a couple summer months, working at Baskin Robbins (I made the cakes!). Whenever I got to drive myself to work, rather than ride my mnt. bike, I drove my parents' white Toyota Camry, and I always parked at the rear of the store in the very last parking spot to the farthest left, away from anything or anyone else. Well, this one evening, for some unknown reason, I parked in the back, right behind the back entrance. Done with work and about to drive home, I put the car into reverse, barely glancing behind me, and forcefully backed the Camry directly into the store's dumpster! I moved the damn thing a whole inch, and left one nicely scratched 1 inch-long groove in the Camry's rear bumper. That cost me $180.

My 4th accident: Shortly after New Years, 1995. Me, Suzanne and Melissa were driving up to Rexburg, ID from SLC, UT, returning from our Christmas break away from school. We were riding in what was Suzy's car (a beastly, heavy hunk of metal, a maroon '78 Oldsmobile, or was it from '72? I'll have to ask her. I'm not positive, but I think it was older than we were!), and we were only 45 minutes away from our destination. [SEMI-RELATED TANGENT: I think Suze had inherited this car from a grandparent. Although unarguably better than no wheels at all, both the odometer and speedometer did not work. I don't remember the gas gauge working either, although that may have gone defunkt come the following spring. Oh and it had no AC, and that became important when we worked together in Park City, UT, that following summer! END OF TANGENT]. There was a lot of slush and black ice on the highways that night and we were often driving under 30 mph to avoid trouble. I had an old, green, rusty pick-up truck riding our butt, and I was refusing to go any faster, nor was he making a move to pass me anytime soon. I took our speed down to 25 mph, hoping to encourage this jackass to make his move to pass me... and it worked. He took off from behind us, and as he passed us pulling further ahead, he cut me off, and he tapped his brakes. In turn, I tried to gently, but quickly engage our brakes... and inconveniently did so while driving over a patch of black ice, and I lost control of the car. Remarkably, we made a full 360 and a half, flat spin off the road without flipping over and without hitting anything or anyone. We stopped 3-4 inches shy of a reinforced barbed wire fence, AND our tire tracks revealed that we had passed less than a foot away from a standing highway directional sign post which measured 13" in diameter. We all had had our seat belts on... so instead of bodies tossed around, all we had was Suzy's snowboard thrown towards the front dash, along with my CD player, both me and Suzy's two CD disc zip-cases, a few bags of received Christmas gifts, and two freshly made, boxed quiches also thrown forward, made by Melissa's sister. The quiche went everywhere, and although a shameful waste, indeed, it had a nice comical touch. Other than an expensive midnight tow, nothing at all happened to the beastly car! I must say we were remarkably lucky!

My 5th accident: Some cold month in early 2003 (I think). I was leaving a local 24-hour Kmart, very, very LATE at night, like 2am-ish? Why was I at Kmart 'round 2am? Although irrelevant to the whole explanation of this accident, I had gone there to pick up some more fine grit sandpaper for a dresser I was refinishing in the garage that night, and apparently, I just couldn't wait until daylight. Anyhow, as I backed outta my parking space, I failed to notice the diagonally-angled triangular curb jutting alongside the drivers side of my car, parallel to me. As I pulled into drive, I ran over the very end corner nub of the curb and blew out both my front and rear passenger side tires. My cousin, Jay, he came to my rescue that night... changed both my tires. Bless him!

My 6th accident: Either late July or early August, 2004 (I've apparently forgotten when - I'd have to look it up). It was dark out and raining hard, a Vegas cloudburst during what they call 'monsoon season,' and I was not even a block away from home. I was listening on a radio report talking about just how bad the weather was, and all the flash flooding around the valley, and all the auto accidents already reported that night, including the locations of some major ones. I was the first car waiting in the left-turn lane, and as the left-turn light clocked green, time for me to make my move, I looked left and right and left and then, as I began to sllloooowly nose out into the intersection, I looked right again, and directly into the oncoming headlights of a big, black Lincoln Navigator. Actually, I only recognized what it was as the thing drove off.... It was a hit and run. They didn't even slow down, and once two other fellow drivers who had stopped beside me were able to confirm I was physically okay, neither one was willing to wait around in the dark and the rain as a witness, nor did anyone give me their contact information. And no one was able to offer the license plate of the Lincoln Navigator. They took out my front bumper and the front passengers fender and tire. It was really great (heavy sarcasm)!

My 7th accident: October 27th, 2006. My Holy Cow Crash... This LINK HERE says it all.

My 8th accident: June 8th, 2008. Some girl rear-ended me HARD... the story is HERE. And my car is in the shop for repairs right now.

My 9th and latest accident (Yup, the 2nd accident this very year!): Almost 3 weeks ago, October 23rd, 2008. The initial story HERE and the final result HERE... and I had wondered about this one. I couldn't believe all those scratches were my doing... and as it turns out, they weren't! Thank you again for your spectacular and most appreciated honesty, sir!