It just dawned on me that it's my ex-husband's birthday, today, and it's Mihow's too (go cheer her up!), and also my old roommies' birthdays, both Sherri and Heather... But for some reason, today being my ex-hub's b-day, thinking a bit about the past, it all hit me...
This year it will have been 15 years since I had first met the man I came to marry, and it'll be 10 years since I was first married to him. Although I know it's not true, I don't feel like I've accomplished much since 1997 - - don't feel like I'm where I'd thought I'd be by now. Then again, I never thought I'd ever get a divorce and high tail it to Las Vegas, did I? Also in 2007, come this March, it will be 20 years since my mother died... 20 years gone.
I hope those aren't the only two benchmarks to be reached this year. I'm tired of feeling acted upon.
P.S.
Noooo, no one needs to tell me that I've a got a helluva crappy attitude. I know it. I'm chiding myself this very second.
P.P.S.
I absolutely know that I have many a thing -countless things- to be grateful for in my life and I should be friggin' HAPPY, but I think my goof ball standards need a serious beating down. I guess my expectations are too high...
Monday, January 29, 2007
2007 ~ A Bannered Benchmark Year, already!
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5 comments:
Hugging you.
Days like that are rough.
Sometimes, you have to give yourself permission to feel a certain way about things for a while before you can push that aside and feel better.
Love you, darlin. Hang in there. It WILL get better.
Hugs you, too.
P.S. What Kelli said:
very true, honey.Give yourself permission to feel however you need to feel for now.
I promise it will get better.
Love, love.
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