She's Here Now and 2 Weeks Old Already

So, I haven't been online much since the arrival of our new lil' addition to our family, who is, by the way, 2 weeks old as of today and is totally adorable - - I cannot lie, she's gorgeous! And she is a ridiculously effortless baby, no less.  Yup, she's sooo easy - - easy peasey, lemon-squeezy, as our lil' Jellybean would say.

Since her arrival I've been posting stuff to Facebook via my Blackberry, but that's been about it until today.  Plus, I never really had the chance to write much about my pregnancy, compared to my first -with or without comparisons really- and I've missed writing anything about my repeat c-section or the past 2 weeks' time. 

For now, I'll just say that I've spent the last 2 weeks trying hard to not repeat the same mistakes I'd made after Jellybean's c-section delivery.  Consequently, my coming and goings have been strictly limited, including my ability to sit up in bed with a laptop.  Due to my diligent determination to rest and take things slowly, I stopped taking my pain meds this past Saturday at midnight, to be exact, and although it's slowed me down some (which is NOT a bad thing), I'm much improved and I'm clearly on my way to a solid recovery, which will include some backlogged blogging.

Lastly, our lil' darling daughter arrived June 11th, 2012, Monday morning at 8am, sharp. The cesarean delivery was flawless, as is she.  As for her full name, it's got two Vs, three I's, two N's, 5 E's, 2 M's, two L's and two T's - she's gunna complain when she's old enough to write it all out, I'm sure!

The Way It Is

How does one know she's a bit hormonal = Listening to iTunes on shuffle, I turn the volume down to take a serious work call, and thereby, lose track of what's playing... then I turn the volume back up nearly 2 hours later to discover Bruce Hornsby & the Range is playing, and inexplicably, the tears flow like a faucet's been turned on... dripping off my chin, and I sit there, perplexed... what the heck is wrong with me?  And I place the music along the timeline of my life...

'The Way It Is' is an album that had been played a great deal the two years preceding my mum's death, and I remember one particular time, listening to it in the car with my father, shortly after her death, driving down from Billings, MT, through the Gallatin Gateway on our way to Bear Lake, Idaho.  I was watching for sand cranes, staring west out the car passenger window at the waters of the glistening Madison River, and remembering trips to Yellowstone with my mum and dad, wishing I could just stop time from moving forward, to just remain with my daddy, driving together in the car, indefinitely, listening together to the music of my childhood to date, 1987 at that time.

The music we listened to during my childhood years, it still sustains a great deal of my childhood memories of my mum.

So I Know I'd Said I'd Be Writing More...

...And then I found out 4 weeks before my due date that my assistant had secured a new position elsewhere and his last day would be 2 weeks before my maternity leave is to begin.

So yeah, no time for blogging much, no time for a lot of things lately.  Only a few moments of sobbing the first week the news hit, and generally keeping my head up since then  - - none of it amounts to the end of the world; just reeeeally poor timing for me.  Oh well, but that's why I'm not blogging much, pre-baby delivery.  I guess I'll have to try to catch up post-delivery, which is scheduled for June 11th, by the way! Yup, just two weeks away is all ~

This past weekend was chock full of domestic honey-Do's for my honey-man to accomplish, and I have my own lengthy 'before-the-baby-arrives' to-do list to work at.  In the past, I would detail that list of mine right here and include all that my honey-man had accomplished as well, but these 5 minutes before 4pm this afternoon, they constitute my first non-potty related break of the work day, and I need to get back to work already.

Seven Pounder Thus Far

Baby Nacho -still in-utero- weighs in at 7 lbs right now

28 Days

We're officially scheduled for a c-section, June 11th at five-freakin'-A-M in the morning! As long as she doesn't make her grand entrance before that time, our Baby Nacho will have a birthdate of 06/11/12!

Spoken Too Soon

So last night, just TWO DAYS after I announce that we may have settled on a baby name, my honey-man tells me he's just not sold on (fill in the blank), and without that name, I'm not sold on his middle name choice, sooo we're back to the very start, square one, without a name for this baby.

We have 4 weeks to figure it out - - and we've been debating names for the last 6 months, and we're basically agreed upon nothing but the two names we've had, sooooo, I don't know what we're gunna come up with now!

Maybe the original name we first had in mind for the lil' Jellybean.... Niagara Mitochondria!

We're in Agreement Now, well, Ahhlmost

BACKGROUND INFO:  I've had a particular baby name in mind for several months now.  I've tried on several other names --really, I have tried-- but I keep coming back to this particular name every time; frankly, nothing else has stuck for me.  Meanwhile, my honey-man, he has either revisited the very same names he had had in mind for the naming of our lil' Jellybean -all of which were, sadly, vehemently rejected the first time around- OR he's been consistently coming up with new, quite lovely French names - - names that, unfortunately, no American will be able to either spell or ever pronounce correctly.  There's this one name in particular that he's been repeating most frequently, that he keeps coming back to... it really is so lovely, and I do love it, I do, HOWEVER, I can't rightly say it myself, nor could I spell it without looking having to first look it up 3 and 4 times before the spelling finally stuck with me, but I still can't pronounce it correctly, although I love it whenever HE says it as it should be spoken.

MORE BACKGROUND: Earlier today, we were swimming in the pool together as a family and we have these two new floating lounger-type chair things for in the pool, one for the boy-O -and general adult use- and one for the girlie that was gifted to her for her 3rd birthday.  So, Jellybean was loving her new floating lounger, but insisted that she float right alongside me, holding on either to me or my lounger itself at all times.  Due to the close proximity and her placement, perpendicular to my belly most the time, she had a great view of my bulging pregnant belly (as long as she hadn't turned her head to look elsewhere).

SOME MORE BACKGROUND INFO: Earlier last week, one night just before her bedtime, our Jellybean was on our bed with me and she'd laid her darling sleepy head on my big belly and just then the baby began to repeatedly kicked right where Jellybean's head was resting, and so, for the first time ever, she reeeally felt and recognized the baby moving inside me. Before then, I'd hold her hand to my belly to have her feel baby-movements, but she really couldn't distinguish the baby's squirming from my own breathing or my own muscular movements caused by my laughing.  Well, since that night last week, I've found her often staring at my belly, watching for baby movements, and if and whenever she sees anything major, she'll whip a little dimpled hand over immediately, to be placed atop my belly, little dimpled fingers splayed, so that she can feel her baby sissy moving.

So today at the pool, Jellybean was watching my belly for baby actions, lunging for my belly in order for her to reach and place her little hand on my belly while floating alongside each other - - and each time she made a move to feel the baby, she kept calling the baby a to-be-given name, rather than the usual 'my baby sister', announcing to everyone there at the pool that she could feel "baby (fill in the blank)!" Hearing her refer to the movements of her unborn baby sister by any particular name, with her little hand placed so deliberately on my belly, it was a defining moment of sorts for me.

And so, later this afternoon, we finally had a conversation that may very well be the final wrap on the whole 'what to name this baby' dilemma.
 
As of today, the name that's stuck with me, plus the aforementioned gorgeous French name I cannot pronounce myself, they might be known together as our Baby Nacho's chosen name, first and middle, respectively ... Looking at what her monogram would be, a potential nickname would be 'Vroom, Vroom!'

Hiccups!

When I was pregnant with our lil' Jellybean, she had hiccups off and on, felt from the time I first was able to feel her move, up until she was due.  Well, I'd forgotten all about this... cuz this baby? If she's had the hiccups before now, it must have happened while I was sleeping... although, Jellybean's midnight hiccups woke me many a time!  And well, actually -and DUH!- it was not until last might, around MIDNIGHT, I realized Baby Nacho had the hiccups!

With Finality

Some background info:  We had Jellybean's 3rd birthday party on the 31st, and a mommie of one of her lil' classmates had come to the party despite the fact that she was due to have her baby that very day.  She told me how her first birth had been by cesarean and that she'd been told this second pregnancy would be a c-section as well due to her first.  Her doc's scheduled vacation wound up overlapping with her due date, so they had initially set a date for a scheduled c-section to happen the week before he was to leave town. She'd gone in as scheduled, was all dressed in her hospital gown, IV line in and everything, waiting only to be wheeled into surgery, and then she changed her mind and she said no thanks. She hadn't met her due date yet, and she told them that it felt altogether wrong, and sure, she knew she'd have to use a substitute doctor, but she was going to give her baby time to arrive on its own time. She left the hospital and she and her husband went home, and there she was still preggers a week later, and at our Jellybean's party on her due date. Three days after the party, the mommie had her baby and without a cesarean. And after seeing her up and about at Jellybean's school, just 4 days after giving birth, I was not only envious, I was hopeful; hopeful that I, too, might be able to pull off a post-cesarean vaginal birth (VBAC). In fact, by yesterday's scheduled appointment with my OB, I was not just hopeful, I was kinda fired up, ready with research and statistics handy, and various specific questions as to a repeat c-section versus his facilitating a non-surgical VBAC delivery. Admittedly now, it was kinda silly on my part. 

The Latest:  Well, my OB doc told me yesterday afternoon that it's not up to him and it's not up to me either, nor is the matter to be decided by what's most medically sound and/or safe for me and my baby.  With 100% certainty, due to my two hospital options determined by the limitations of my health insurance, I will be made to have a repeat c-section as official hospital rules for those who've already had a cesarean birth.

Although my OB had forewarned me months ago that due to my cesarean scar tissues I'd likely wind up having another cesarean, there was some wiggle room in our first few conversations on the matter, that we'd wait and see how it goes. The absolute finality of yesterday's news kinda slapped me backwards and it had me reliving the realities of my first cesarean, remembering with full detail how, um, awful my recovery was. Consequently, by 11pm last night, I wound up bawling like a baby for about an hour before finally going to sleep. And then I slept like total ca ca and had birthing nightmares all night long.

Ultimately, I simply want the wee one to get here safely - - but I would also like to be given the chance to immediately hold and kiss my baby, rather than be made to crane my neck to get a mere seconds' glimpse, and then wait over an hour to meet her. Yeah, and I don't want the bladder catheter re-insertions sans anesthetic, nor do I want the busy maternity nurses neglecting my meds less than 12 hours post-surgery, and then there's all the percocet -and feeling dopey- and the resulting chronic constipation, nor do I want any of the swollen, oozing, on-fire and peeling allergic skin reactions to the glue of the steri-strips across my already tender incision. Oh, and I reeeally could go without the 'blood patch' to fix my spinal block headaches. Well, and yeah, I could do without those headaches, period. I'd also like to be able to hold/lift/carry my toddler, and to clean my own home, and to do my own grocery shopping, rather than have to wait 6-8 weeks before I'll be able to do any of that. It also hit me incredibly hard like a gut punch last night that I do not want the chronic pain caused by healing scar tissue, limiting my activity for nearly a year --whether I'm to fight a post-pregnancy libido flatline or not.  I want to be able to hit the ground running after this pregnancy, and I've essentially been told that will be a no-go. Yes, it ALL came flooding back to me last night and I totally lost it.
 

I know, bitch, bitch, bitch, and pouty-pout, pout about it, I know, I know... IT COULD ALWAYS BE WAY, WAY, WAY WORSE. I know. I do know.

I've been telling people for months now, openly and without complaint, that I'll likely have to have another c-section, and I'd been acting like it's all fine with me and I'd thought I was in a state of acceptance already. Then we had Jellybean's birthday party....  I hadn't realized how much I'd been hoping there was chance, no matter how slim, that I might get to delivery our baby myself.

Now that I've been told there's no way it will happen, and with such finality at that, I am really feeling it. So I'm spending the next 24 to 48 hours to get over it (like the first time I was told Jellybean would have to arrive via c-section), and thereafter, I'll accept it as truth, and 8 weeks from now I'll happily welcome our new baby into our world, and I'll grit my teeth, even post-cesarean.

Baby Growing in dah Tummy

A mother once said...

"When I was six months pregnant with my third child, my four year old came into the room when I was just getting ready to get into the shower. She said, "Mommy, you are getting fat!"

I replied, "Yes, honey, remember Mommy has a baby growing in her tummy." 

"I know," she replied, "but what's growing in your butt?" 

Our Prince Will Reign Supreme

Whoops - found this sitting in my Drafts, written January 11th:

We found out today [January 11th!] that we're having another girl!  This makes me soooo happy for a number of reasons.

Most obvious, there's the simple practicality of it:  We already have baby girl clothes and girl stuff, and two girls could share a bedroom together -- I'm envisioning bunkbeds.

Secondly, April of last year, there was a study commissioned by Faye Mingo of Bounty.com to investigate parents' believed best sibling combination for a peaceful homelife. The polling results from  2,116 parents surveyed = Two girls are unlikely to fight, will play nicely with each other, and confide in their parents, according to the study. Granted, this is NOT a rule, and even if it were, exceptions will always arise in any case. Yet, it does sound good, doesn't it?

Some have asked me, don't you want one of each?

Yes, we already have ourselves a daughter, but we do already have a son as well, even if the angel boy-O is not of my womb.  Foremost, beyond the practical reasons to favor two girls, I like the idea that our having another girl will allow the angel boy-O to be our one and only boy, our reigning prince supreme!

Yes, I knoooow, older siblings of step-family arrangements do, and often, have to deal with the reality that younger sibs may come along, be they of the same sex or not.  Comparisons can and will be made between any sibling arrangment as to the differences between their upbringing.  Children grow up and they survive it, but it can be a challenge no matter what to varying degrees.  I know this from my own experience.

It is my mere humble opinion that in my own experience it is easier to make LESS comparisons between siblings if and when they are of the opposite sex, because, well, they're not the same.

Overall, the image I have in my mind of our angel boy-O, grown older and taller, with a lil' sissy's hand held in each of his? This image warms my heart to the point I feel my heart might EXPLODE!  He is already such an awesome big brother to his lil' sissy, and now he will get to be the protector and prince for TWO little sisters.

Recounting the Day, as to Why I'm So Tired

Beginning at 6:30-ish am -

Began a load of laundry in the wash.
Helped my honey-man steer the angel boy-O through his morning's departure, for him to head out with his dad for the airport to return to Utah.
Breakfast of pumpkin waffles with peanut-butter refused by the toddler, in favor of nothing but 1/2 a cup of milk and nothing more.
Cleaned the kitchen; cleared the dishes, wiped down the counters and kitchen table, began a full dishwasher's load, and swept and mopped, all while Jellybean read stories to her lil' furry friends in the front room.
Changed over the load of laundry to the dryer and began a 2nd load in the wash.
Played dress-up together for nearly an hour. I was the evil witch, commanded to cackle every 10 minutes or so.

Tried for 10 minutes to get Jellybean to consume something non-liquid, to no avail; "No thanks, I'm not hungry, mommie."Painted fingers and toes, hers and mine, while watching an episode of Dr. Seuss (a first for us both) and her 1st time ever at-home TV watching of Sesame Street, brought to you by the letter 'J', no less!
10:30 am -
"Mommie, I'm hungry." Me: Okay, you can eat your untouched waffles leftover from breakfast. Her:  "No, I'm not hungry, mommie."
Made Tapioca pudding together - her 1st time, both making it (she loved it!) and eating it (she absolutely hated it!).
An an early lunch together at 11am, and yes, she did eat her waffles first.
Changed over the 2nd load of laundry to the dryer and began a 3rd load.
Over 2 n' 1/2 hours -no exaggeration here- of playtime together at the kitchen table with Playdoh.
Followed by 30 minutes of Playdoh clean up.
Watched 2 episodes of The Muppets, season 3.
Read 6 libary books and then laid the Jellybean down for a late afternoon nap.
Made 'Bean with Bacon' soup on the fly to satisfy an enormous preggers craving.
6pm -
Had dinner with mah honey-man before Jellybean woke (very late) from her nap.
Fed (read 'forced' and/or 'bribed') Jellybean dinner, negotiating 6 big spoonfuls of soup for 3 SweetTart hearts from our candy dish, purple, orange and pink, to be exact in her request.
Remembered the last load of laundry, waiting still in the washer, to be moved over to the dryer, and asked my honey-man to do it please.
30-minute long shower with the Jellybean, complete with the drawing of a dozen or so different zoo animals using her bath crayons, which Jellybean dutifully cleaned up at the end using her "brown brush with soap, please."
Bedtime for the girlie by 8:15pm, followed by 20 minute visit with my honey-man, folding laundry together, and 30 or so minutes tidying up, aka attending to the explosion of toys left downstairs.
Bedtime for mommie...after I finish this via cell phone-written blogpost... 10pm-ish.

P.S. My thumbs are sore now! and I'm tired. and oh yeah, I'm pregnant.

Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry.

Cleaning the Drain Daily

So, in case you haven't ever heard about this before, it's apparently quite common to lose a lot of your hair after birthing your baby... Yeah, I had thought I missed that boat, but for the past three weeks now, what's been happening to me can only best be described as shedding. I'm nearly as bad as the cats! And this is all while I'm trying to grow out my short hair, so the hairs are longer than they would have been 5 months ago. I'm quite certain too that I'm nearing the awkward and ugly phase of the grow-out. My hair won't do anything for me anymore unless I utilize a deadly combo of hair products intended to defy gravity. As it is, I hardly ever remember to even look at my hair these days (although my bangs do constantly hang in my eyes now), so the hope that I will 'do' my hair is pretty hopeless.

Not until the afternoon did I get out of the house today, in order to mail off a box of the boy-O's forgotten items and to feed my Popstar's doggie n' her fishes. I had planned to visit the Verizon store as well --my Blackberry won't make a single peep anymore and it's not a mute or profile selection issue!?-- but I finally caught a glance of myself in my drivers door window and realized I hadn't done a thing to my hair since I'd wet it down this morning at 6am.Yeah.

Day One: Our Baby Girlie Has Arrived!

Born last Thursday, March 26th at 12:37 pm, weighing 8 lbs and 6 ounces, measuring 20 inches long:

Postponed

UPDATE: We were called at 9:30 am, asked to arrive between 10 and 10:30am, aiming for surgery by noontime, sooo, I wasn't able to finish the tin whistles bag, nor the binding on the tricot blankey, afterall...

Well, well, the plot thickens: We got a call from the hospital at 8am and they don't have a room for us in order for our c-section to happen as scheduled at 11am...

And my response to this news? - - smiling and laughter! No joke!

They've already spoken with my OB and they'll be calling us around 10am to let us know when they'll be able to have us come in for a c-section in the afternoon. Yup. The waiting game continues! Meanwhile, I still can't eat anything nor drink anything; can't even chew gum. Have I ever written about how I can get in the mornings without breakfast? It's not good --think angry grizzly bear. *Deep intake of breath* Hopefully, my highly elevated mood will last us as long as needed...

But it's all good: We're still gunna have a baby today!!! And I promise right now, if they push us to tomorrow, I'll be a good girl; I will not throw a tantrum; I can wait as long as it takes. But honestly, when they told me we'd been postponed, my first thought was "OH COOL!"...Now I have time to finish the tricot baby blanket's binding (I'd only got a lil' over 1/2 way done with it yesterday), annnd (right after I post this) I can finish the angel boy-O's blasted tin whistle bag!!! And I can spray paint that basket I picked up yesterday at Goodwill for keeping pacifiers, and, and, and... [SOME BACKGROUND INFO: For possibly a year now, I've had the angel boy-O's Irish tin whistles, planning/aiming to make him a handy carry case for them, but I keep modifying the design(s) and changing my mind, and I actually made two different bags, but didn't like either one. He will now get to go home to Burbank with a whistle bag, hell or high water, now that the universe has conspired and decided we gotta wait a lil' longer for the baby sweet potato girl's arrival.]

So yes, I'm not disappointed about the new timing on our hands... Strangely enough, it's just an opportunity to get a lil' bit more done before she gets here! I'm sick, aren't I? ~ hee hee

'B' is for Bassinet

After the first week or so using a co-sleeper, only because of the c-section, our lil' baby sweet potato girl will be sleeping in this beside our bed for the first couple months! Isn't it just too cute for words?

My aunt and uncle gave it to us to use and it's been in his family for over 100 years! They retouched the base stand's paint and bought new bassinet sheets and a new bumper pad for it. It's absolutely darling, indeed.

Once I'm up and able to be out and about again, I plan to pick up something I can weave in and out of the lower portion of the bassinet for a lil' extra decorative touch... my aunt is encouraging me to do so. I think she's just eager to see what I can come up with!

P.S. Yes, I'm having a hard time sleeping! Been having some stronger than usual contractions for the last several hours (although nothing consistent), plus I gots me a VERY ACTIVE baby bouncing around at what I can only imagine must be her full strength! Plus, um, there's the fact that I'll be holding my baby girlie in less than 12 hours from now, and soooo, I'm TOTALLY JAZZED OUTTA MY MIND about that.

Eviction Notice: 24 Hours to Vacate!

From this moment forward, our lil' baby sweet potato girl has only 24 hours to vacate her current accommodations before she's to be abruptly evicted. Mind you, I don't think she seems to be all that concerned - - she's apparently in no rush to make her own arrival.

Yup, 24 hours from now, we'll have ourselves our baby girl!

Words cannot possibly convey the excitement I'm feeling - - nor the overwhelming gratitude I feel. The way things had begun for us and this lil' one-to-be, we weren't ever expecting her to make it this far... In the beginning, we were actually told she wasn't going to make it... and here we are!? Nine months and nearly 8 days later, she's about to make her grand entrance into the world! --into our lives! And no mere 5 or 6 pounds as had been the prediction, but possibly 8 lbs or more?!? Wow. And all that hair on her head that we've seen in the all the sonograms... and such a strong, healthy heart!!! Wow.

*contented sigh* Tomorrow is gunna change my life forever and I couldn't be more eager for it.

Wish us luck! And thank you to everyone for their sincere well wishes and high hopes for us and our baby girl! All the heartfelt support and love has been just tremendous over that last several months!
Thank you again and again ~

A Darling, Most Precious, Priceless Work of Art!

My sister cut and pieced this precious creation together, and then my step-mum had it long-arm quilted and she did the binding by hand, and perfectly so.

Isn't it absolutely priceless?Otis loves it as well.

The long-arm pattern is adorable!

It's so gorgeous, it'll be hard to let her use it! Maybe after her early spit-up phase has phased out...

The Last Project B4 Baby's Arrival: Tricot Blankey or Bust!

By now, Owen believes this tricot baby blanket is his... I aim to finish the binding on it tonight! Yes, waiting until nearly the very last minute...
I had originally planned to stitch the remaining binding while waiting/working through active contractions, pre-transition, before heading to the hospital. I'd thought it'd be relaxing...

Owen LOVES this blanket, seen totally conked out here.

41 Weeks!

I own only 3 short sleeve maternity tops, all of which fit --thank goodness-- this being one of the 3. All the rest of my maternity tops are not only long sleevers, too hot now for our warming weather, but the rest of 'em all rise up in the front now. Yup, I've gotten too big for 'em!

oh and that reminds me: After this morning's shower, I discovered NEW stretch marks along the underside of my belly. Just fabulous!

P.S. You can see here how she's sitting real high again, lil' stinker! She doesn't want to come out!