Emotional & Hormonal Limbo

I've been staying home from work this week, considering I'm still on antibiotics for my blood infection and I have an annoying, non-productive viral cough that won't quit. I haven't had anymore fevers, but I can't do much without becoming easily exhausted. Yesterday, I slept from 9:30am until 3pm, and I still managed to go to bed 'round 11pm.

After coming home from the hospital, we discovered we'd left my one and only cell phone charger in my hospital room, which lost n' found said they did not ever find - ??? After having my cell off since Friday, I finally ventured out late last night to our nearby Target to buy a new cell charger. Upon returning to my car to head home, I opened my new charger and plugged in my cell, aiming to call my honey-man, and I discovered I'd missed nearly two dozen calls... and I felt myself swell with anxiety.

There's still a lot of people who don't know what's gone on in the last couple weeks, and telling and retelling my story over and over has begun to take it's toll emotionally, especially when my story has yet to reach any final resolve.

Although I'm thankful for everyone's caring concern, and I'm certainly thankful to be out of the hospital, relieved and thankful that my infection did not escalated any further, I now don't know what more to hope for - - I'm still pregnant and there's been no signs of the predicted miscarriage to come, yet I'm no longer 'feeling pregnant'... my nausea is gone, the headaches are gone, and the generally 'swollen' feeling seems to be over.

I don't know what to think. I don't know how to feel. I'm totally in limbo. I should know more by tomorrow afternoon, but the waiting has been like slow torture. So yeah, that's how I am right now.