"May I speak with Julie...?"

Mmmkay, prepare for a mild-mannered, yet well overdue rant...
Anytime anyone calls me and asks for "Julie [insert last name]," I never know for sure if they're really asking to talk with me or my deceased mother, but either way, the caller is always someone who doesn't know me; the "Julie" part always serves as a sure-fire red flag. It happens rarely now (was not the case when I was an undergrad), but it's never fun to clarify to any caller that the person they want to talk to has been dead for several years. More often than not, the caller is really looking for me, but although my first name is Julie, that's not what I go by... Tangent: So why don't I go by "Julie" if it's my first name? As you may have gathered by now, my mum's name was Julie and two "Julie"s in the house would have been confusing... Soooo why not bump over "Julie" and use it as my middle name instead? My full name sounds notably better with the "Julie" part first, so I only use "J.", followed by my middle name. [end of tangent] So, as I was sayin', if someone calls asking for "Julie," I ultimately know the caller does not know me. Moreover, in more recent years, I've learned that any caller asking for "Julie [insert last name]" isn't normally a telemarketer, but rather, more likely someone calling from area code 801. Let me explain (the mild mannered rant begins)...
NOTE: If I don't recognize a phone number, I usually won't answer it and will instead let it go to voicemail. Anyhow, my cell phone rang this morning and had I looked and seen the '801' area code, I would have known not to answer it... Instead though, I picked it right up (mistake one) and upon hearing the caller ask, "May I speak with Julie [insert last name]?" First, I told the person it would depends on which Julie he/she wanted (2nd mistake), and then when the caller KNEW what I meant by that, I actually said, "Yes, I'm Julie [insert last name], the younger" (3rd BIG mistake)!?! And only THEN did I hold my phone out, away from my ear for a better view of its LCD (my worst mistake, in that I did this waaaay too late in the game) annnd DAMMIT! Why didn't I check the number first before answering? Not only was it a 801 phone number, the rest of it was real simple, ya know? with three zeros in a row as the last 3 digits, nice and neat, with only 4 different digits used in total; definitely, MOST DEFINITELY an institutional number. Indeed, it was someone from the Member Records Office from the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints located in Salt Lake City, UT. The caller wanted to let me know (for the ump-teenth millionth time) that my church records were being held in Salt Lake and that the LDS Member Records Office wanted to forward my records to my current bishop, and without missing a beat, he/she then proceeded to ask me to please verify where I currently live... Some Background Info: The LDS Church keeps very detailed records for all of its church members, like any global institution may. Although LDS Church headquarters in SLC maintains a complete, individual master file for each and every church member, if any member's records can be found only in SLC, it's because, 1) you actually live in SLC, 2) you've died, or 3) the church doesn't know where you are. Over the last several years -six years to be exact- I have tried to tell various LDS church representatives (missionaries, home teachers, visiting teachers, Relief Society ladies, Singles Ward reps, several bishops and bishopric counselors and church records clerks) as kindly and as patiently as I can, at various times throughout each year (New Years, Easter, each general and stake conference weekend, mid-summer and Christmas), that I am well aware of the nearest LDS meeting house location and that I'm perfectly capable to drive there on my own or to pick up a phone and call, if I so choose to do so.

I do appreciate the intent behind the unsolicited calls and the frequently unannounced visits and what these people think they're doing - trying to get me back amongst the fold - but I really do not appreciate feeling as though I'm being tracked and hunted, repeatedly persuaded/asked to do things that I obviously do NOT want to do ~ is it not obvious enough for these people? If I wanted to, wouldn't I be doing it on my own? What happened to the concept of free will? Anyhow, this time I didn't use any euphemisms. I told the kind caller that I knew my records have been left in Salt Lake - and quickly, I was told that if I would just share where I live in Nevada, my bishop could have my records sent from Salt Lake before the weekend. I told him as sweetly as I could that I didn't want my records forwarded to anyone, honestly, and that I didn't know what more to tell him than that. I didn't apologize - I didn't say sorry or thanks. I just left it at that.