Yesterday, I had lunch with my so dear, uber adorable friend, Ryan, after which, he knew full well why I've been feeling so in the dumps. So, knowing my state of general neediness, he offered me an evening of homemade quiche if I'd come over to his place after work, but I declined the offer, thinking I had too much to do. [SIDE NOTE: Ryan is The Quiche King. I love him only for his quiche (j/k, Ry Ry!).] Just before he'd be leaving work at 5pm, I called him back, asking if I was too late for quiche...
So last night as the kitchen timer ticked down to quiche-time, we sat on the couch together watching something I cannot remember right now - Seinfeld? Friends? I dunno. Anyhow, we were on the couch, both of us chuckling at the appropriate times, occasionally spacing out and/or blurting out any observations and personal thoughts unrelated to the TV show we were watching. At times, these various spontaneous declarations to one another would totally throw the other off, so that one would miss the words and meaning of declaration altogether.
The best declaration began like this: I'm spacing out and Ryan blurts something I first perceive as completely unintelligible, but instead of first asking him "Wha'd you say?", I take a guess and say to him what I think I heard (I do this kind of thing a lot, not hearing spoken words right).
Me: You pooed your pants?!?!
Ryan: "No, ...." [and he repeats whatever it was he'd said]
Me: Ohh. You pruned your pants? [I then glance down at the hem of his shorts and sat forward to give them a closer inspection]
Me: Did you trim the fray off the hem? [He grins at me and then stares at me in disbelief for a brief moment]
Ryan: "No, I prunned my.... " [He places vocal emphasis on the very last word, which now doesn't exactly sound like "pants," but I totally miss it, again. I give him a pained 'I-still-didn't-catch-that' look]
Ryan: "Plants." [I give him the same look again]
Ryan: "Plants. I pruned my PLANTS." [vocal emphasis given for each 'T']
Me: OHHHH! [I'm now choking up with laughter]
Me: I knew I had it wrooong... [Laughing still, I then begin to ramble on, amid spurts of our shared laughter, explaining how I had thought about our breakfast together last weekend, and how he had been wearing a pre-worn, yet brand new pair of shorts then, complaining about the already frayed hem... and Ryan then interrupts me]
Ryan: "Yeah. I guess 'you pruned your pants' makes a lot more sense, doesn't it?"
Revisiting that moment from last night has had me in stitches again today, at least 4 different times.
I love you, Ryan! You're a wonderful friend! Thanks so much for last night.
Thursday, October 12, 2006
"You Poohed Your Pants!?!?"
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6 comments:
And women wonder why guys don't talk much..
Love the dialogue. Never mind watching the sitcoms, you just WROTE one!
I like how your wrote "pooh" as in Winnie-The...
How would one "Winnie The Pooh" one's pants?
"I have Pooh in my pants."
"Well, let him out before he suffocates!"
This alone will keep me going for the rest of my work day.
Annejelynn, that cracked me up!
But I am sorry to hear you've been feeling discombobulated. I hope whatever it is passes soon.
p.s.
you are so loved in the blogiverse. (I'm sure IRL too!) Let us know how we can help comfort or cheer you, sweetie
hugs
That is television GOLD, I tell you what! I'd totally watch your show.
As an aside, whenever my kids misunderstand me, and that happens a lot, especially when I am asking them to DO something they are not all that keen on doing ("What? You want me to bake my bed?! Make my bread? What? Oh, make my bed! I thought you said break my bread!"), I call it I-thought-you-said-itis (which I totally stole from Mrs. Piggle-Wiggle, the foremost expert in cures for childhood ailments)...
...which is totally random, but as I was reading I immediately diagnosed you with I-thought-you-said-itis, so there you go.
Shutting up now.
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