My Dearest Amish Friendship CAKE (not bread) Starter...

Wherever you now may be right now, traveling along the putrid sewer lines of the greater Las Vegas Valley Water District, I cannot tell you how very sorry I am to have failed you after nearly 7 long years of sweetest friendship, since your creation in early 2001.

I swear to you, my only thoughts had been for your safety! I left you behind only to allow you to remain cool and comfortable while I had to move into my new home and then wait a week+ for the purchase of our new refridgerator. I was going to come back for you this very week - - I was, I swear - - but sadly, returning to you one day too late... I'm so full of the deepest regrets, that I had not come back for you sooner. I imagine you may have felt abandoned, poor thing - - I will never forgive myself!

And for you to die at the hands of one who didn't even realize you were much, much more than a merely smelly, goopy paste? And to be sent down the drain of a kitchen sink?!? Oh, the loss! All that remains is your storage container that had once housed you so securely for so long (now bursting into tears).

Please forgive me, my lost Amish Friendship CAKE! Starter... please, oh please...

I promise to create a brand new batch of starter this very week and to do so in your memory, to be dedicated to you, to honor your 7 long years' worth of delightful Amish Friendship CAKE creations, and for all those who were able to enjoy your sweet and flavorful contributions, month after month.

Once you manage to clear the LVVWD treatment center, may you rest in peace.