Tuesday, April 05, 2011

It's Been a While

I haven't written much of substance in a while. Granted, this is my self-proclaimed outlet of silliness. Nonetheless, sometimes I manage to write something good, something to be remembered. For months and months now, I've neglected to write much of the day to day, week to week, month to month details of my life that keep me going, that keep me believing.

For the month of March, I had hoped to revive my blogging and to make a big time effort to chronicle a number of my lil' sweet potato's accomplishments. Of course, I absolutely delight daily in my darling daughter, who is now TWO years old, but I've failed to detail so many delightful toddler tidbits for months now. And there are a gazillion other things to write about, to be grateful for as well, but over the last 3 weeks since my cousin was murdered, it's been hard to feel much is blog-worthy.

However, if anything, more now than before, I should sense greater meaning in the simple stuff, even the somewhat mundane, and write about whatever and whenever I get a chance. I guess I have been a bit too busy to write, but I've found hours to check into Facebook and Emmett's 'In Memory' group. I dunno.

Blogging, albeit silly stuff, it facilitates my personal effort to cherish all that I have and to enjoy it all to the fullest --as Emmett would want me to and he would expect no less of me... he was such an insistent and stubborn ass with the heart of a lion!

I hope with the April month I'll take more time to observe and note, to reflect and share.

It's just been so hard to think past all the disbelief that he's gone now. The pain can be paralyzing. My heart aches most for those hardest hit by this loss: His wife and 5 lil' children and his estranged parents. My dear aunt - - I want to help and don't know how, as none of it brings him back, and that's all she wants. It is absolutely heartbreaking.

No comments: