Friday, October 08, 2010

Hummus aka Toots!

If you have zero tolerance for talk of bodily functions, this post ain't for you.

I'm not sure how to offer any background info on this one... How to even explain the significance without totally ratting out my honey-man? Hmmm, I'll try to keep it simple, minimum details.

Last night our lil' sweet potato was in a mood, kinda whiney, a bit sulky, a somewhat uncooperative = she was a very tired toddler. And it could of been far worse. There wasn't any spontaneous bursting into tears, no wait, that's not true, that happened twice. Anyhow, I'm rambling. The point is this: She wasn't her best last night, feelin' not so hot, very tired, and when's she's tired, she tends to be a little clingy, which means she's either right at my feet or in my arms at all times.

When it's her bathtime, soon after her dinner, she gets a chance to try her potty. Well, last night, not feeling so great, she required that I sit right beside her the entire time while she did her duty. Sooo, sitting side by side, she on her potty, me on the bathroom floor, my back against the wall, with her little face less than a foot away from mine, give or take, she took her sweet time. I tell you this so you can well imagine how close we were, and how well she could easily turn and look up into my face, talking to me as she sat on her potty.

Sooo, she's sitting on her froggie potty seat and she's singing and humming and talking about poo-poo and pee-pee and Elmo and Elmo on the potty, and I'm watching her and listening to her. She was sitting there for 5 or more minutes (which is a long time for a toddler), so I began to ask her if she'd gone poopie yet or pee-pee, and "Are we all done? No? Maybe next time?" She turns to me with this look on her face, chin down, eyebrows up, eyes wide, and she lets loose a long string of 'toots' (aka farts). Seeing this look of alarm on her darling face, I say "Ahhh, toots! Fluffies! You're tooting." And then she says to me with a look of pure confidence, like she's telling me how it really is:

"Hummusss" [spoken with long, drawn out emphasis placed on the 's']

I look at her all confused, not certain I've heard her right. She quickly repeats herself with 100% certainty, this time shortening the 's' sound some:


I ask her, "Hummus?""

With great enthusiasm, she turns to me as she tries to stand from her potty seat, and with her little mug mere inches from mine, she toots some more, now standing in my lap, and she squeals and claps:


Still a bit perplexed, but laughing now in response, I ask her again, "Hummus?" - - she conquers, nodding her head emphatically, tooting some more almost as if in response.

She turns from me and sits again on her potty, toots a last time, and nodding confidently, she turns to me once more and tells me "Hummus."

Okay, so what the heck was that? Here's my 100% certain theory: Whenever any one of us in our home eats hummus, there is some seriously flatulent consequences to follow within 24 hours of consumption. Same goes for our lil' sweet potato girlie. Well, once those consequences show up, whether it's me or my honey-man, we'll speak aloud the simple one-word explanation for all the, um, tooting, saying nothing more: "Hummus"

Apparently, our observant toddler has picked up on this.

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